Friday, January 29, 2016

Illustrated Version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone


Harry Potter Series
Illustrated Version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone 


Every single year I start off January 1st with the first book of the Harry Potter series and then I re read all seven books in their entirety before I start trying to get through a couple more books on my list. Now with David Bowie passing away they released his top books to read so I have those to get through as well. Last year for Christmas, I got the new illustrated Harry Potter book so I was able to start out this re read with a beautiful hard covered version of this book. It has the most amazing illustrations I have ever seen. Some span across two whole pages. The font is large and it makes reading this book so much fun. I have re read this many times but this book really changed the way I felt while reading it. I hope that they release all the books as illustrated versions because this one was wonderful. I am currently on Book Three so it will still be awhile with me only reading at bed time and doctor appointments to get to tackling the banned books and the Bowie book list. If you are a Harry Potter fan, get this book as it really adds a new layer to the experience. You see characters illustrated in ways you ever imagined and it is remarkable how well made this book. Get it. 

Kiss me like a Stranger: My Search for Love and Art


Kiss me like a Stranger: My Search for Love and Art

This book is a beautiful, honest and open biography by Gene Wilder. It addresses areas in acting, love, OCD and mental issues, cancer, art and other important events in his life with immense clarity and truthfulness that will snag your heart and keep you engaged until the very end of the book. It will leave you wanting to know so much more about Mr. Wilder and his life. I have been a fan of his for a long time, since I was very little. I have always been a big Mel Brooks fan and in turn a big Gene Wilder fan. I knew about Gilda Radner through my insanely talents comedienne sister but this book gave an honest look at what it feels like to be a caregiver who is tortured by his love and his own thoughts on deserving love and being a selfish person. My sister recommended this book to me because of their relationship and her impact on survivors everywhere.  In this book, he does not paint the picture of being the loyal caregiver full of unending love. He is flawed, he feels torn, he feels hurt, and from what I interpreted from the book- undeserving of the love he is getting on any front. It was not until I became a survivor that I really understood this and how difficult it can be on all involved and how much she did for the cancer community and it was nice to see the story from his side of her story. I want to read Gilda’s book because I want to see how she viewed his actions since she had unquestionable love for him.  The book also discusses Wilder’s own cancer story in the end. The best part of this book is truly its honesty. Wilder never shys away from the truth even if it paints him in a bad light. He addresses his own fears, his own faults. He is not painted as a noble hero, but as a flawed individual that is essentially human.   It is not a funny book, it is a truthful book.  Plus there is a wonderful amount of photos showing the complexity of his life and how many people truly cared about him and what a diverse life he has had. If you are looking for funny and entertaining, this is not the book for you. However if you want an honest look at someone who made movies that changes lives, and you are willing to accept that he may not be the hero you always loved then this is the book for you. 

Past reads- Three books off the list

As you can see I have finished three books (besides my annual re-readings of Harry Potter) but I cannot possibly do a full, legit review of them since it was so long ago and chemo brain is a real thing. However I can do a small review for each


Ulysses
This is a massive book that explains one day in the lives of two characters called Leopold Bloom and Stephen Dedalus. When I say massive I mean 265,000 words in length, uses a lexicon of 30,030 words (including proper names, plurals and various verb tenses),[5] and is divided into eighteen episodes according to Wikipedia.  It jumps between multiple characters that are weaved in and out of each other’s lives. This book is the most interesting because of its history of censorship. The book was labeled as obscene and the first shipment was seized by customs when it was being imported in the 1930’s resulting in a court case over its obscenity status. They even burned copies of it in the United States.  In full honesty this is a book I honestly believe that people 1.) Did not fully understand (it is VERY difficult to follow at times and goes off of on what feels like stream of consciousness tangents a majority of the time) and 2. What they did understand (that there were sexual themes) were written in a way that made them feel unintelligent. These two pieces caused the outrage against this book. As far as I remember there is a scene of masturbation and there is a scene of crazy, crazy drug use in a brothel.  Every single element of this book though is described in complex literary detail. It is not graphic by today’s standard in the slightest, even with sex references. There are some really fun riddles and puns but a majority of the time for me personally, I felt like there were tangents just to have tangents and obscurity for the sake of obscurity. I did find the switch in writing styles very interesting. I think that this book is like Citizen Kane, if you only watch the movie compared to current day movies, you lose the groundbreaking nature of the film. This book is the same, I assume that when this book came out it was really groundbreaking. It showed women making decisions that scared a male driven society and it scared them. Compared to current literature this book is not obscene in almost anyway. Overall I do not think this book should be on this list at all, there is not a single part that I thought was too graphic. The only thing this book could do that is bad is make you fall asleep, hurt your back from lugging it around, or inspire you to try and write in a different manner. I am glad I read it so I can say that yes I read every single one of the 265,000 words but I have no desire to ever read it again.


Bridge to Terabithia
I watched this movie when it came out and I loved it but I went in knowing that parents had flipped their shit about the ending. When a book forced a parent to actually BE a parent, they fight to get it put on this list. This book deals with real life issues that children will face in their lifetime-loss, stability, growing up- and it does so with a refreshing grace and beauty. The story follows main character Jesse Aarons and his new friend Leslie Burke and their adventures in dealing with their real life through imagination and creativity. They create an imaginary kingdom called Terebithia where they can be free and get away from their real life issues. This book has been added to this list due to religious zealots not understanding the power of imagination and hating anything that is not Christian literature. There is not a single element of this book that is anti- religion, it really comes down to people wanting to avoid being parents and avoid anything that makes them talk to their kids like human beings. It also boils down to people wanting to control everything that doesn’t fit into their own religious mold. Overall, this book is beautifully written, it is relatively short, but the characters are fleshed out and it is nice story of growing up. I would recommend this book whole heartedly, especially if you enjoy books that remind you of your childhood reading days.


Catcher in the Rye

This is the last book I read and it follows the main character Holden Caulfield as he goes on a teenage rebellion streak. This book is another I do not understand. There is a scene with a prostitute but no sex and no graphic detail. There is a hint that one character is a homosexual and may be a pedophile but it is never fleshed out in the novel.  This book is more about a teenager who is whiny and spoiled and the teenage angst he feels in his privileged life than it is a real book that has anything inappropriate or wrong. The title is derived from his desire to save children from the evils of being an adult- essentially catching them when they get to close to the cliff edge during their play time in a field of rye. It is basically a misunderstanding of Robert Burn’s poem/children’s song where he heard “body catch a body” instead of “body meet a body”. I found nothing in this book to be worth of a challenge. Yes it addresses teenage angst but everyone either was or will be a teenager at some point in their lives. Its censorship history resides in fears of Communism, and fears of children growing up into adults. This is quite humorous when one looks at the themes in this novel. By challenging this book, the censors are merely stepping into the hero role that Holden believe his encompasses. Overall, I do not see what the big deal is about this book to be perfectly honest. There is nothing in this book that is overtly sexual or graphic in nature. In fact this is a pretty tame book when one considers that it revolves around the themes of teenagers dealing with becoming an adult and everything that entails. 

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Trying to Read the Top 100 Banned Books leaves me with the following 50 left!



Banned Book List Progress

I started this in 2014 and I have since re read the Harry Potter series every single year (a tradition I have maintained since 2008.) 

This is where I will update my progress. Plus as I finished I will post a review of each book. Since I have four already finished, I will post an abridged review for all four books but since it will not be accurate or helpful I will combine them. It will be too hard to remember how I felt about each one since they are so far in the past. I hope that my combines review I do tomorrow will still help me in the long run. 


1. The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger-Finished-5-15-2015
2. The Grapes of Wrath, by John Steinbeck
3. The Color Purple, by Alice Walker
4. Ulysses, by James Joyce- Finshed 04-26-2014
5. Beloved, by Toni Morrison
6. Lolita, by Vladmir Nabokov
7. Catch-22, by Joseph Heller
8. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley
9. The Sun Also Rises, by Ernest Hemingway
10. As I Lay Dying, by William Faulkner
11. A Farewell to Arms, by Ernest Hemingway
12. Their Eyes Were Watching God, by Zora Neale Hurston
13. Song of Solomon, by Toni Morrison
14. Gone with the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell
15. Native Son, by Richard Wright
16. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, by Ken Kesey
17. Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut
18. For Whom the Bell Tolls, by Ernest Hemingway
19. The Call of the Wild, by Jack London
20. Go Tell it on the Mountain, by James Baldwin
21. All the King's Men, by Robert Penn Warren
22. The Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien

23. The Jungle, by Upton Sinclair
24. Lady Chatterley's Lover, by D.H. Lawrence
25. A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess
26. The Awakening, by Kate Chopin
27. In Cold Blood, by Truman Capote
28. The Satanic Verses, by Salman Rushdie
29. Sophie's Choice, by William Styron
30. Sons and Lovers, by D.H. Lawrence
31. Cat's Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut

32. A Separate Peace, by John Knowles
33. Naked Lunch, by William S. Burroughs
34. Brideshead Revisited, by Evelyn Waugh

35. Women in Love, by D.H. Lawrence
36. The Naked and the Dead, by Norman Mailer

37. Tropic of Cancer, by Henry Miller
38. An American Tragedy, by Theodore Dreiser
39. Rabbit, Run, by John Updike
40.  I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, by Maya Angelou
41. The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky

42. Fallen Angels, by Walter Dean Myers
43. It’s Perfectly Normal, by Robie Harris
44. The Giver, by Lois Lowry
 45. What My Mother Doesn’t Know, by Sonya Sones

46. Bless Me, Ultima, by Rudolfo Anaya
47. Snow Falling on Cedars, by David Guterson
48. My Brother Sam Is Dead, by James Lincoln Collier

49. Bridge To Terabithia, by Katherine Paterson- Finished 04-29-14
50. Harry Potter (series), by J.K. Rowling - Finished Feb 2014

Cancer on $5 a day *Chemo not included


Cancer on $5 A Day *Chemo not included

Robert Schimmel is hilarious. Flat out hilarious. I had heard him on the Howard Stern before and I thought he was so funny, but then I kind of lost sight of him and when I found this book I didn’t even recognize it as the same person. Little know fact about me I LOVE comedians, LOVE them, used to spend (and still can at hotels since we don’t have cable anymore) doing nothing but watching hours and hours of comedy central comedians. However ask me who my favorites are and I will draw a complete blank as to their names. I know some of the bigger comedians and I know Jeff Dunham because they kept saying JeffdunHAMDOTCOM. I can recognize comedians I have seen before and I recognize their material but I draw a complete blank until they start going. It is actually a big weakness of mine that I try very hard to correct but it wont work! Anyway, back to the book. I literally bought this book to get the free shipping on Amazon with my order and I am now so very glad that I did, this book is EXCELLENT! Just excellent. I had to sound like an internet loser speaking that awful internet language but it has been so long since a book has made me laugh out loud, but I did I laughed and I laughed hard. He is witty, punchy and just keeps you entertained the whole book. Even during the parts where there is sadness and you feel yourself tearing up he will hit you with a one liner that will make you smile. I wish that I could meet him and tell him that I think his book is just amazing. I have always had a sense of humor with my diagnosis but nothing even remotely close to where he stands. I think I am a pretty funny gal, people tell me I am at least, my husband thinks I am funny, but I could never be a comedian, I am just not at that level. However this book follows Robert from his diagnosis all the way to his first show after treatment and then some. He divulges a large amount of personal details in a way that makes you laugh and feel like perhaps your own story fits into that same humorous approach. He also explores many different alternative and what conventional medicines would see as strange treatments to which he recommends as “a mini mind trip, a mental vacation” including reiki, crystal therapy, guided meditation, acupuncture. Not all of these helped, especially the crystal therapy, but they each gave him a different look at something that could be helping. As he told his doctor “a lot of people believe in Reiki. I’m just saying. What the hell? Why not?” He is very observant and helpful in this book at providing a firsthand look at a lot of pieces people do not think about, such as doctors limited knowledge of nutrition and the over prescribing of antibiotic, I have seen this first hand over and over with my husband.  As he says “just because Dr. Lugo thinks it’s a bunch of mumbo jumbo doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.” He very much enjoys the peace he receives from his alternative treatments and I think anyone who is interested will gain a nice insight with this book. Overall the book not only achieves its purpose but annihilates it. It does just make you laugh, it makes you laugh out loud.  He also has lots of life advice but overall this is his story, including back story about how he lost his son to cancer. He opens up so clearly that I wonder how it was to edit this book. I wonder if he went on and on like me and then the co writer had to wrangle him in to make a cohesive book out of it. He just shares so much and it flows so nicely but still read as if he is talking to you and not just writing a book about his story. He jumps forward and says things like well get to that later and it all lines up like a real life conversation would. I highly recommend this book and I think it would be a good read for anyone not just survivors.  He also offers great advice about those times when it is impossible to be positive all the time. “Well yes, you can in an instant is replaced with no, you can’t. Because sometimes you just can’t. These are practical issues. And there are fantasy and reality. You can’t be fooled into thinking that anything is possible armed with only a positive attitude. That may be the definition of insanity.” Perfect. It is so very true, sometimes you just can’t, and you have to allow yourself to “cant” (I know that doesn’t make grammatical sense, but you get what I am saying!!). It isn’t very long and is a very quick read, even me, who is a slow visualizing reader, busted it out in about a week.
Warning though, this book contains adult language that is not suitable for children or adults who are easily offended. It is a real reaction book, and from the final parts I believe it was even downed a bit to make it not AS bad, but it is all for the laughs and for coping with the diagnosis, so if you cant take it DON’T buy this book. Here is a video of him for you to decide if it is your cup of tea. Personally I think he is awesome!  Plus he is another awesome Jew! As any of you are close to me, my family is a non practicing Jewish family, meaning we married into Christians and they won the religious control. :-P However, my sister is a good Jew, :-D
robertschimmel
Best Insight about Beating Cancer with Alternative Treatments: 
Im pretty sure I discovered the cure for cancer.
Yanni.
If I beat this thing, it’s because the cancer cells couldn’t stand Yanni anymore.

Best Quote: “Doesn’t matter how rich or famous you are, cancer is an equal opportunity shit sandwich”

Best Dr. Quote: “Well, if you can find something funny the moment you get diagnosed, you’re going to be ok.” I believe this is true, I found something funny and I am still kicking! :P

Best Analogy of Life:
 After getting stung by a bee on the beach.
“The key to life in a nutshell: Life is good. It really is, But sometimes you get stung” and the final lines of the book “Life ain’t about the bee. It’s about the beach.”

Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips




Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips

**Disclaimer: No excessive partying or Real World people are in this book! **I guess I just do not relate to this cancer book at all. When I am reading it I feel like I am reading a creative writing assignment that has been written over and over again until it is so trendy and hip that it just pops off the page. I found almost nothing in this book relatable through the first half of the book, and while if you want to get pumped up and give cancer a makeover you should pick it up. Over all though, my humble advice would be to just read the chapters in review at the end if you find yourself feeling like me. They get the most important pieces of advice which is why I bought the tips book and not just the video that started it all and if you want more information you can turn to that section. I thought perhaps it is just that when I was diagnosed I wasn’t established in an acting career and doing great, I was just starting out, not even out of college, and I didn’t (and still don’t) have friends who were major players in anything really, so I ran it past Fish for some evaluation. He did not read the book merely skimmed it and read the back and he agreed that there is something that makes this book seems more like an act than an actual book on how to deal with being diagnosed. I am all for having an attitude and for taking control of your life, but this book really reminds me of those people who try way too hard to be in the know and out there looking fabulous.  I have only been friends with two people in my life who have had these kinds of witty funny pieces come to them naturally, RJ and George San. When I watched Juno all I could think was no one really says those kinds of things, no one can really think of 80’s cues and 90’s TV shows all the time at the exact perfect moment. And of all the people I have ever known, those are the only two that I think it came naturally to and neither one of them did it in an I’m trying to impress someone way. It doesn’t even boil down to the fact that she’s an actress because my sister is an actress and a damned fine one too. If you’ve never seen her in a play you are missing out on an amazing talent, and if you asked her to write about cancer she wouldn’t write something like this. I should know I asked her to write for me, and what she gave me was a good piece of writing. This book is definitely for the more free spirited, I have money to burn cancer survivor, and that sadly is not me.  I wanted to like this book. I wanted to see myself as a cancer kicking fighting bitch who cusses in every other word I type but that’s not me all the time. When I write I don’t censor myself, I just don’t see the need to translate those pieces like that. I use the F-Word (bumbumbuuuuuuuuummmmmm) all the time in casual conversation with my friends, and have even dropped it in front of the girls but when I am around my 92 year old grandma; I try my best not to go. “Hey Grandma, what the fuck is up, yo?” It doesn’t make sense for the situation. I don’t feel like I am changing myself, in fact I would feel like I am putting on an act if I wanted my Grandma to have me talk to her like that. Basically I like what the book has to say, it offers some nice advice, but I hate the way it was written. I cannot take it seriously and the more I read the more I want to smack the writer and that makes me sad. Perhaps it is because I just read Everything Changes which deals with the real voices of several cancer patients that I just do not see this book as up to par for survivors. It’s for trendy survivors, and I am not trendy I suppose.  Half way through the book however the author tends to get a bit more serious, I suppose this could be her acceptance and moving forward stage and it is around here where the cussing every other word disappears and she start discussing real ways to deal with cancer. While I was still unable to relate, I think the book does redeem itself in offering up a lot of information especially anyone who is thinking of trying alternative or new treatments. There are a lot of cool links, tons of information on going vegan and being healthy including recipes at the end. I tried so very hard to relate to this book and while I did finally get into the niche of the book half way through by that time I was so far gone I couldn’t pull myself back and knowing that I could never (not back then or now) just drop everything and use credit cards to go on a meditation trip with my best friend, nor could I switch to a 100% organic healthy lifestyle (in this case Vegan) due t the same monetary constrictions. So, it is a nice pick up for getting tips and for learning how cool people deal with cancer, but for real world life experiences that everyone can relate to, I just couldn’t say this one resonated with me. Sorry, I guess I’m not a good enough cancer babe! :-(

I will be picking up the video that started it all to see that as I assume if I had watched it first I would be more in the know and feel more connected…maybe… 
Greatest Piece: Cancer Faux Pas!- these little tidbits at times are pretty funny but are also pretty insightful into a cancer survivors life.   Best Faux Pas!
>You’re So Brave.
>You Poor Thing, Ill pray for you.
>Bless your tender heart.
>Whoa! You’re Fucked!

Greatest piece of advice: Place a sign that says “NO PAPER. NO TRAYS. NO ICE. I WEIGH _____ POUNDS on your door to keep nurses from waking you up all hours of the night and early morning!

Most interesting part: I will be incorporating some of the links that are posted here into the page I have been working on for being creative while having cancer. She offers some great ideas with links. Also the scrapbook style of this book is very interesting for seeing how her life has evolved since her diagnosis. Her best quote: “Worrying was praying for what you don’t want”

Felt Connected at the end with this quote
 “It was shocking to me that an uplifting story about survival would get lost in the shuffle of celebrity poker, tattoos, and cellulite removal shows

Everything Changes- The Insider's guide to Cancer in your 20's and 30's


Everything Changes

It has been a long time since a book has hit me as hard as Everything Changes. With the roll out of the website, I have made it my mission to become a well informed as possible. I started reading; I have dedicated time to something I have so thoroughly missed recently, the utter joy of reading a good book. While I was reading this book I found myself wishing and hoping there would be someone like me in this book, I also kept going over in my head how I would write this amazing review. 7 pages in and I knew this was THE book I would recommend that everyone I know go out and buy. However, much like everything in my life after cancer, actually remembering and typing it out now that it is time is so much harder. I truly miss the days when I could sit and type out an amazing piece of work. In high school I honestly believed my teacher should be paying me to write the kind of essays I was producing. I loved to write, now I struggle just to try and get across how amazing I think something it. I have found it is so much easier for me to rip something apart [see my Twilight review] than it is to get across how powerful something can be or how highly I recommend something. Everything Changes is a book full of interviews with cancer patients in their 20’s and 30’s and while it is called “Everything Changes, An Insider’s Guide to Cancer in your 20’s and 30’s, I do not see it as a step by step guide but more of an insight into the minds and thought processes of real people who are going through the same disease in so many different ways. Technically dealing with the same situation but so many different elements that are each unique to each person. At the end of each interview there are some amazing resources that are directly linked to the chapter’s issue. It ranges from navigating through the ridiculous medical and insurance system to fertility issues.  I was seven pages in when I made Fish go get my highlighter so that I could highlight some of the pieces I wanted to remember and share in this review. I have now ruined almost every other page of this book!! The piece that made me get my highlighter was the goal of the book “to rip young adult cancer patients from the confines of these limited descriptors and perceptions. I wanted to reveal who we are, not in simple definitions but in the complexities of our daily lives: what we think about while lying in bed at night; what we wish we could tell our lovers but are too afraid to; the ways in which we feel vulnerable, tender, and utterly uncertain what to do with ourselves; the times when cancer is not a fight but just hard circumstances with which to live.” This is followed with pages and pages of small highlighted segments that stood out enough that I wanted to make sure I didn’t lose them. This book is not only full of information that is vital at the time of diagnosis, but also along he border there are quotes from others that range from hilarious to insightful but always carry a layer of straight truth to them. The honesty of this book will win over anyone who reads it. I want to recommend that EVERY person I know go out and buy this book. This book is the perfect book to understand what someone who is going through cancer maybe feeling. Plus, odds are you are going to be close to someone who has cancer and if you already have this book you will be prepared. I often read reviews for things before I purchase this, I did not read any on this book before I bought it, but I check out the one 3 star review on Aamzon and they are right in a lot of ways, the book is fantastic but when you are diagnosed you are not thinking about hoping on Amazon and buying a book, you are trying to figure out what you are going to do with your live. Most people, like me, will probably find this book when they are in remission or between treatments and by then it could be that most of the important information was never given to them. So, please check out picking up the book just to have in your library in case of emergency. Plus you can get it for the unheard of low price of $9 on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Everything-Changes-Insiders-Guide-Cancer/dp/0470294027/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1266108119&sr=8-1-fkmr0
I think it would make a great present to a survivor who may be feeling that they are all alone and that no one knows how they feel.  Oh and so you know, I found a patient in the book who was sort of like my situation, not exactly but very close and I was so happy to know that I am not the only person in the world who was super positive on my own accord, that patient is Dana Merk, and I am so glad she is in the book. I read the whole book feeling only partially connected to each person. There would be ideas that I whole heartedly agreed with but our situations were not the same. At this point in my life, I honestly thought that maybe there is something wrong with me to be so positive about my whole experience.

Fantastic Quotes:
“Maybe the cure needs to suffer a bit so that cause can be addressed. We should refocus our thinking. I mean seventy thousand young people a year get diagnosed with cancer. Where’s the outrage? It not happening.” –Geoff
“George Burns smoke cigars, drank alcohol, did crazy drugs, and died at a hundred and one. George Gershwin was one of the world’s first popular vegans and died of brain cancer at thirty-nine. There is no rhyme or reason. The most important thing is to just own your lifestyle.” Matthew Zachary
“When I went into remission, I had a couple of people say to me ‘Oh God spared you.’ I told them I think it is just that Satan hasn’t got my corner office ready yet.”-Nora Lynch
“Having cancer isn’t gonna suddenly make me the Buddha”-Geoff

Things I couldn’t believe someone would say stood out a lot in this book. These are actual things that doctors really said to people:
when on state insurance they refused to do both a CAT and a PET scan because it wasn’t private insurance, the patient expressed her anger with her mother’s oncologist to which he replied “Well, you’re getting clean needles, aren’t you? There are places in the world where you wouldn’t even get clean needles you should be grateful (Yes he said GRATEFUL!)” then when he left and she turned to a nurse to express her shock that the Dr. would day such a thing the nurse said “well, its OUR tax dollars” another one that hit me hard was doctors telling other doctors that they don’t think the patient is fighting, when asking how bad chemo was the response was “If it was so bad, everybody wouldn’t be doing it.” When one patients back was so full of cancer she couldn’t walk she told her doctor about the pain to which she replied “Is it the sexual positions you are using?” I hope by including these in this review you will see that sometimes people are not as caring as they should be. Also this is one of the most important things the book stresses and that I hope just me being here stresses is that young adults DO get cancer and you cannot let your doctor assume that you couldn’t have it because you are too young!

Also I believe that these quotes are just so amazing in how well they offer advice that is so honest and can help so many people:


“If you refuse to receive, you are unnecessarily putting a barrier between yourself and the love of others”-Richard
“What it would take to cure cancer was more people who knew that an arsenal of compassion, money, heartfelt effort, and deep desire didn’t mean much if you are not willing to put smarts and strategy above your own personal agenda.”-Matthew Zachary
“True service is getting rid of that illusion that there’s any difference between you and me. It is the willingness to humble, to let someone yell at you sometimes ‘cause they are in pain or have them tell you they want you out of their room. You have to be careful not to take away peoples humanity when you   serve them. It is easy to see someone as weaker than you, and physically, cancer patients maybe very weak, but we know that they’re not weak at all.” –Amilica Mouton-Fuentes
“Being strong is not just about being inspirational or having your shit together. It’s about being able to freak out, too, so long as you don’t get stuck there”-Wafa’a Badriyeh
This book is such an amazing, easy read. It is not filled with medical jargon that will confuse you, it is not even filled with items that make you feel guilty if you are not a cancer survivor. It is just an intimate look into what cancer survivors think and feel and I think ultimately most people who talk to me want to know these kinds of things and here it is for you in a great book. She did all the traveling, cataloging, typing and researching for you! 

My Lobotomy


My Lobotomy

I picked this book up at Borders and it was 100% based on the title and the cover picture. It is the first time in a long time I have bought a book full price and I think the book’s story more than made it up to me. The book is a first person biography of a man trying to come to terms with why he was given a lobotomy at 12 years old. It is also a fascinating story of the history of a lobotomy which is a procedure that has always made my skin crawl. The only thing that hurt this book for me was that my sister read the ending and then made a comment to me that I will not write here for fear of ruining it for any of you. However, this made me question throughout the whole book the whole time I was reading. The book is a great little read and would make ideal waiting room reading as it is also about a man who has went through his share of problems, more than his share in fact, and came out good on the other side. The book is written in plan speak and really adds to the connection you feel with Mr. Dully
Best Lines from the book: from the back cover what sold me: “My name is Howard Dully. In 1960, when I was twelve years old, I was given a lobotomy. My stepmother arranged it, my father agreed to it. Dr. Walter Freeman, the man who invented the “ice pick” lobotomy performed it. My family paid the hospital $200. And I never understood why. I wasn’t a violent kid. I never hurt anyone. I wasn’t failing school. Was there something I had done that was horrible enough to deserve a lobotomy? I asked myself that question for more than forty years. Then, when I turned fifty-four, I went looking for answers. <-- Now tell me that didn’t make you want to pick this book up and learn why he got a lobotomy as a child?! Why anyone would do that to another person?!

Under the Dome


Under the Dome- Stephen King

I am an AVID Stephen King fan, I am HUGE! I LOVE him, it is my biggest dream to meet a few people in my life: Stephen King, David Bowie, Ewan McGregor, and Tim Curry.  If anyone reading this knows any of these people or have connection, send them my way! I mean there are other people in the world I wouldn’t mind meeting but these four people are my “that would make my life complete” people. Anyway back to the point. The last book I read by Mr. King was Under the Dome and again I loved it. This book covers the story line of a little town in Maine and what happens to them when a giant dome is placed along their county line marker. When good people are tossed into a situation where you cannot leave and the true nature of humanity is under the microscope. The main reason why I enjoy Mr. King’s work so much is that he has a way of making you feel as if this could actually happen. Primarily, I find his descriptions and dialogue easy to follow and entertaining. I know his works are labeled as “Commercial Fiction” but I do not feel this means it is not a good read. This book in particular is a great read. The book itself is ginormous, it is at least 3 if not 4 inches thick (hardcover). It has a cast list of characters in the front, I suppose for if you get confused. The book covers everyone in the town and much like Fish’s work it jumps from perspectives which keeps the book lively and you never truly know what is going to happen. Like much of Mr. King’s works this one is not for children. In fact when the girls asked me about the book as I had it with me I explained what the book was about by drawing a comparison to if I locked them in a room together and only gave them one thing to eat, they love each other but after 3 months together in a tiny room they might start to act out against each other and that is sort of what the book is about, how people react when they are put in a bad situation. Then I told them it wasn’t for kids and when they asked me how old they would have to be to read it, I told them never, they would never be old enough. :-P However if you are looking for a nice long read that is well worth the time, the Under the Dome is for you! Got a lot of time to kill in the waiting room, this is a great book to bring! 
Greatest Part of this book: One of the main characters has the EXACT same cancer as  I had, it is kind of fun to see how I could have turned out if I had just had headaches and still lived in a small town where they diagnosed me with Migraines!  Hehehehe! 
Advice for readers: It is Stephen King, I shouldn’t need to say more but just in case, he is graphic, he is descriptive and he will make you cringe, be prepared for anything!

Brightsided


Bright-Sided

Bright-sided is an amazing book. While I did first pick it up after watching the author on the Daily Show and I did only pick it up because I thoroughly believe it is my positive attitude that got me to this point in my life and this book’s full title is “Bright-sided, how the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America”. Now while I thought this book was going to get a rise out of me and make me angry that this person was saying that being positive is bad but that is exactly what this book is not trying to accomplish. As I read more and more of this book the more I found myself in this authors words, I personally hate self help books, I had The Secret in my hands for less than one day before I returned it to the owner telling her what a crock I thought it was and that it was full of junk. I have always thought that self help books were a get rich quick way for people to tell other people how to live their lives while living their own lives the direct opposite. When my friend in Japan bought a book on how to succeed in Business I laughed at him and told him he was a loser (just so you know, to be my friend is to deal in evil jokes and cold hard truths). This book confirms many of these aspects for people who live in the positive thinking marketing and promotion world, where multi-million dollar speaking engagements are common place. I have also had a dry heaving revulsion to televangelist preachers and ministers with their demanding of money while they live the high life and their flock is starving and suffering. The nerve of people sometimes, however this book shines a spotlight on all of this double faced, bull shit behind the way people who are in charge use positive thinking to control people below them. She also talks about her own cancer diagnosis and being the “odd person” out if you will by not feeling cancer is an opportunity or being positive, but by being her true emotion which was angry. She talks about how survivors are forced to deny their feelings of anger or fear. It is my hope that this website has not lead you to feel this way. I do my best to make sure that everyone knows that you should not deny how you feel, you have the right to feel however you want to feel but my advice is to at the end try and loop around to being positive in the end. However, this is just what worked for me. It might be more beneficial for you to get angry and get fighting, whatever pushes you that extra mile is worth it. I really enjoyed this book because it is real, it is not cookie cutter happy cancer book. It shows all elements of life though and that is what makes it a must read. It isn’t focused 100% on her cancer, but rather how the positivity movement really had messed up our country. What other country works long hard hours, for less money and benefits and is told to do it with a smile. At my last job, before I was fired, I was always told while I am happy I need to be MORE happy for our clients. Really? More happy? The amount of money my old company spent on “motivation” was ridiculous and I can almost bet any company you have ever worked for has done something similar. It is the way of the corporate world. Get fewer workers to do more work by putting them through stupid group exercises and speakers. The history is quite fascinating and while it was sad to see that the research and articles about positivity linked to good health are fake and are created to get grants because negative results do not win awards; it is best to hear the truth.  I feel that Brightsided is a great look into the actual marketing of positivity. When it is no longer controlled by you, you have no choice in the matter and others are forcing you to live in an imaginary world for their benefit. The one aspect I am truly glad I learned from this book is that in the positivity movement, even in cancer communities, if you cannot feel happy and are not getting better you have only yourself to blame and that in itself is so incredibly detrimental. How could anyone say that to someone else? That is so incredibly awful. Throughout the reading of her cancer story, though, it becomes apparent that, in fact, many people will.  I highly recommend picking this book up, if you need a read. It is full of a little history which if you are bogged down by chemo may be hard to read but the overall message I think is beneficial and the subject matter was highly interesting to me. Especially since I know being positive worked for me and I found no qualms with this book. My beliefs and this book go hand in hand I believe.

Favorite Quote: Right out of the Intro (which you should read!) “There is a vast difference between positive thinking and existential courage” while referring to the Founding Fathers courage, I like to think it can also be applied to being a survivor. It is not the positive thinking that gets you through it; it is the courage to fight what is presented as an unwinnable fight.

Greatest Find:
despair
An AWESOME site of unmotivational items that are sure to put a smile on your face. These are humorous and very poignant as well. Check it out for some awesome bits of pessimism and anti positivity.

Biggest Douche I didn’t know before this book: Joyce Meyer. While reading this book, I staying in a hotel and in the morning before I checkout out  I flipped through and stopped on this station where a LARGE stadium of people were watching this minister talk about not worrying about your possessions and only worrying about God. I thought she was funny and so I kept watching, knowing full well that in this book they had talked about the money that these hypocrites rake in. So, when I got home I looked her up, she is a centimillionaire, owns her own private jet and a $23,000 antique marble toilet. Think of that before you give from your pocketbook. As they say in the book “cotton candy gospel” <--I like that.  There are bigger douches in this book including the Osteens who have taken church and turned it into a money grabbing rock concert, but you’ll have to read all about them yourselves in the book! In fact this book is full of douches, a whole underlying network of douchbaggery.